This morning I read the following quote from Esther de Waal: ‘I looked for a while at the daffodils, and asked myself the question: “What do you want of your life?” and I realised, with a start of recognition and terror, “Exactly what I have” – but to be commensurate, to handle it all better.’
I think I can say the same, though it isn’t an easy thing to say. What do I want of my life? If I could, would I change all that has gone before? Do I really want exactly what I have – no more and no less? I think I genuinely do want exactly what I have. I am content with all that has gone to make me who I am, to bring me to this present moment. And if I had the choice, I would go through it all again: The fun and traumas of growing up; the joy of marriage to Helen, and of having children and creating a family; the struggles we’ve been through along the way; the searing pain of letting go. To love fiercely, to grieve deeply. All of this is a part of who I am. That is what has brought me to this present moment, where I can sit in wonder, full of gratitude for the beauty, the peace, the joy that is now.
Amazing when you think of it – all the things that happen along life’s way add up to make us the person we are today. It is Not what happens to us, whether good or bad, but it’s how we handle and use what has happened and try to find the positive in everything to run on with………….. There is always a positive even if you struggle to find it at first – the positive becomes – YOU, your courage, your love, your faith to carry on and the lessons learned in so doing will not be wasted.