Throwing individualism and conformity to the wind

In his book Silence and Honey Cakes former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, speaks of the twin curses in our society of excessive individualism and pressured conformity.  In contrast, he calls us each to recognise our own unique personhood: ‘when you have a person who is wholly self-consistent, whose identity is completely bound up with the calling to live in unreserved intimacy with God as Father… [that] person has such solid reality, such distinctive and reliable identity, that it will do what is consistent with being that person’.  Williams goes on to encourage us to discover our personhood within the context of community: ‘a place for distinctive vocations to be discovered in such a way that they are a source of mutual enrichment and delight, not threat… a place where real human difference is nourished.’

One of the advantages of growing older and (hopefully) wiser is that it is perhaps easier to discover our unique personhood, and to live our lives in keeping with that, rather than from any pressure towards either individualism or conformity.  Over the past few years, Lois and I have both discovered a much deeper awareness of our own uniqueness and of just how much we are each loved by God.  It is from that place of security that we have found ourselves free to make decisions that might otherwise take a certain amount of courage.  We have both felt that, in some strange way, God has brought our paths together, and wants to bless us with this new season of togetherness, and through that, hopefully to become, together, a blessing to others.

Which is all a rather long-winded way of saying that we have decided to get married: here in New Zealand on the 21^st February.  Being free from any pressure to impress or conform means that we have been able, at short notice, to throw together a simple informal ceremony with a BBQ, swimming and games, wines from a Kumeu winery (which I can select the day before on a cellar door wine tasting), and a random passing Bishop and his wife to perform the wedding.  For some reason, Lois didn’t like the idea of inviting guests to stay for a late-night session of Settlers and whisky as a good way of rounding off a perfect day, but I guess you can’t have everything.

I’m afraid we won’t be funding flights out from the UK – sorry.  But we will be having a marriage blessing and celebration once we are both in Coventry – more details to follow.

We have been so blessed by so many people – including all those who have fallen off their chairs, grinned from ear to ear, cried, hugged us, and sent wonderful, excited emails, messages and texts, and all those who are pulling together to make the 21^st a reality.  Thank you all.  I hope that we, in turn, may bring even a little bit of sunshine and brightness into your lives.