Reflections on retirement 1

A new stage in life

So, it is finally happening. In three months’ time I will be retiring. So I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on what this is like; what it means for me; my experiences of 31 years in the NHS, 21 years as a consultant paediatrician and 13 years in academia; and on what lies ahead for this next stage of my life.

Pausing to contemplate this recently, it felt to me that this wasn’t so much retiring from work as moving on to a new stage in life, developing further my unique sense of calling or vocation, and embracing new opportunities, freed from some of the constraints of paid employment.

I do feel privileged to have been able to pursue a career in paediatrics and more recently academic child health, and to have worked in what remains one of the best health institutions in the world. It has been a great blessing to have built up expertise in a field I enjoy and feel passionately about, and to be able to use some of that expertise for children and families. And now it feels even more of a privilege and blessing to be able to retire from paid employment and develop further in these and other areas.

 

What am I on the planet for?

One of Lois’ favourite questions as a spiritual director is ‘what are you uniquely here on the planet for?’ As I reflected on this recently at a Retreat Association conference in Derbyshire, it seemed to me that the answer to this revolved around two core motivations which are working out in three key areas of my life.

Belovedness

The first core motivation revolves around a deepening sense of my own belovedness: recognising myself as a beloved child of God, unique, valued, and (in spite of my weaknesses and imperfections) with much to contribute, much to enjoy and much to learn; and from that, longing that others, too, might know something of that same belovedness and worth.

 

Hope

The second core motivation is one of hope: a longing for a world in which there is no more death or crying or mourning; where there is no more violence and abuse.

 

working out my vocation

So how do these two motivations work out in the different dimensions of my life?

 

Safeguarding children

  • A search to better understand abuse and neglect and how we as a society can better protect children and support families
  • Using my experience and knowledge to support others in the challenging work of child protection
  • Continuing to work that out through my ongoing research into child abuse; continuing my involvement with BASPCAN and Child Abuse Review; offering my expertise to the new National Safeguarding Practice Review Panel; and as a new opportunity, exploring the possibility of a PhD in theology, focused on a deeper understanding of abuse and neglect

 

Preventing child deaths

  • Seeking to better understand the circumstances and systems that lead to children’s deaths, to learn from them, and to work to prevent future children’s deaths
  • Supporting professionals and strengthening systems for child death review
  • Supporting families who are coping with the death of a child
  • Working this out with my ongoing input to the Lullaby Trust and SUDC-UK, and continued engagement with others in this country and overseas who are involved in child death review; and in a new opportunity, working with UNICEF and the National Council for Family Affairs in Jordan to develop a child death review system for their country

 

Creating breathing space

  • With Lois, to develop Breathing Space as a safe, sacred space where any who come can experience peace and beauty, and know something of their own belovedness
  • Sharing something of the blessings with which we ourselves are blessed
  • Seeking to live sustainably with respect and care for creation, and a commitment to justice and peace
  • Working this out through our home, retreat house and garden; our involvement in spiritual direction; running retreats and quiet days; being able to study and write, to be creative, and to enjoy the goodness and joy of our families and friends

 

Quite how all this will pan out remains to be seen, but at this stage, with the prospects of a more relaxed pace of life, and new opportunities opening up to me, it feels good. Roll on October!

 

Charlie Brown someday we will all die

My adorable paper!

 

I was delighted this morning to receive a warm and convivial email from Ms. Veronica, the managing editor of EC paediatrics, an ‘internationally profound journal’ that is delighted to publish my ‘wonderful and adorable’ paper in their archive. Having seen my ‘immense track research in neonatal care and child health’ their warm wishes ‘nourishes our precious relationship that started all the way through LinkedIn!’

In spite of the dizzying heights of superlative obsequiousness reached by her email, I fear the reality that I haven’t published any research on neonatal care means I am going to have to disappoint dear Ms Veronica.

Am I just a callous ivory-tower academic with no ounce of warm-hearted feelings to such a precious relationship?

 

Dear Dr. Peter Sidebotham,

Pleased to convey our warm wishes from EC Paediatrics, that nourishes our precious relationship that started all the way through LinkedIn!

We at ECPE, an Internationally profound journal carries out thorough Double blinded peer review; Gives prompt acknowledgement after acceptance of article for peer review; Performs Rapid publication after the article is peer reviewed; Accepts and Publishes papers with excellence, novelty and originality; Issues Publication Certificate to author; Provides high visibility of your published work through Google Scholar.

Having seen your immense track research in neonatal care and child health, we are aspiring to publish your wonderful article in the archive of EC Paediatrics.

Therefore, it is our delight to have your adorable paper by September 20, 2017.
With pleasure, we are always ready to clarify your queries!

Hope to work with you soon!
With Kind Regards,
Ms. Veronica
Managing Editor

Hanging up my stethoscope

Today, after 28 years of clinical medicine, I hung up my stethoscope, put away my box of bricks and toys, and closed my BNF for the last time.

IMG_1701

 

Yes, I have finally done it. No more will I drive to Rugby on a Monday morning, to sit on the floor of my clinic room playing with little children, listening to their parents’ concerns, and trying to offer some advice or support. No more will I hold the hands of my beautiful patients at Brooke special school. I will miss them: Jimmy[1], Abi, Naheem… Each one, in their little ways, has blessed me. Little Carrie’s friendly smile; Joel’s mischievous streak; Yacob’s shyness…

It has been a privilege to work with these families over the years, and I have learnt such a lot: about children; about families; about the very real struggles and difficulties so many people face. I feel honoured to have, in some small way, shared in some of those struggles. And I hope that, for some at least, I have been able to offer some comfort, support and hope.

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