A chapter closes

Osborne Road: A chapter closes

Two days from now we will, for the last time, close the doors of our home in Osborne Road. A new and exciting chapter in our lives is beginning, full of hope and possibility. But for now it is a time of saying goodbye, of reflecting on all that has passed in these past 12 years, and of closing the chapter of this phase of my life.

It has been a good 12 years: years of love and joy, and the warmth of family life; years of energy and achievement; years, too, of hardship and struggles, sorrow and grief. Nevertheless, they have been good years.

As I wander through the house, memories pop up – some expected, others catching me by surprise.

In Joe’s room, rainbow-painted, now empty and still, I think with pride of my amazing son. I feel the crushing warmth of his hugs each time we meet. I remember the early morning walks to Manor Park School; I hear his first squeaky attempts to learn the tenor horn, his wonderful recitals of excerpts from Shakespeare and the Lord of the Rings (masterfully delivered in a Star Wars style). I can smile now at the memory of coming upstairs to find his bunk bed ladder protruding through his bedroom door after one particularly frustrated tantrum. And I duck, once more, under his pull-up bar – a last reminder of all his circus skills and his incredible unicycle ride.

I sit on Esther’s cast-iron bed thinking of all her friendships and fall-outs; of long, giggly sleep-overs, playing bop-it into the night; of the anguishes of being a teenage girl. I feel a deep surge of love as I think of all the heart-felt conversations we’ve had, and the depth of emotion I felt seeing her in her wedding dress.

My own room carries the strongest emotions. The bed I’ve shared with Helen and now with Lois. That same bed where I’ve lain in anguish in the dark of the night, or watched the Eastern sky brighten through tear-filled eyes. The serenity of a little painting – a lone figure walking through a gentle, shadowed wood.

I come to our spare rooms – rooms which have seen so many good friends. Housemates and visitors from around the world. People who have shared something of our lives. Too many to mention, but each someone who has brought their own unique blessing.

In the lounge I think of cosy evenings by the fire; of gatherings with friends, shared bottles of wine. I reflect on deep conversations with Lois, as we share our dreams and wonder at our blessings. I think of our Holy Trinity community – of all the love and support of so many friends; people who have shared our joy and our tears. Those memories continue as I move to the kitchen and recall shared meals, cups of coffee and lively celebrations. Family games of Settlers and Scrabble.

And so to the last room, to sit at my desk. A place of inspiration as I look out on the garden in the morning sun. I hear Esther and now Lois playing the piano. I wrap my arms around Helen’s shoulders as she sits at her desk engrossed in her work. I sit, silent, in my little ‘chapel’, my haven of peace at the start of each day. And I wander into the garden, where children and teenagers alike would bounce on the trampoline, or swing and climb on the climbing frame, now an empty skeleton, holding its memories. I see Neo tearing down the garden in chase of squirrels, or with Trinity as puppies scrabbling and bouncing on the grass.

The memories are good. They sit comfortably as part of who I am. This has been a good home and 12 good years.

I have said my goodbyes and I’m ready to move on, into this next inspiring chapter.

Counting my blessings: why is life so unfair?

Over the past few weeks I have once again been realising just how immensely privileged I am:

 

 

  • I have two quite amazing children who continue to be a source of love and pride
  • I have a really wonderful, loving wife with whom I can share this incredible life
  • I have a secure and enjoyable job which is meaningful and worthwhile, and which I truly love
  • I work with some inspiring colleagues who are passionate and committed to doing the best for children and families
  • I am extremely fortunate to know some exceptional friends, here in Coventry and around the world, who are prepared to stand up for what they believe – for truth, justice, peace and compassion – even when that brings criticism or personal hardship
  • I earn far more than I need, and have never had to experience the anxiety of not knowing where my next meal will come from, or how I am going to pay the next month’s bills
  • I am fit and healthy and able to enjoy the beauty of the world we live in, the joy of good companionship, and moments of peace and rest
  • I have never had to experience the terror of violence or abuse
  • Even in the awful grief of Helen’s death 4 years ago, and of my sister, Mei Ling before that, I have been surrounded by people who care for me and have held me through the difficult times

 

So, somehow, I have to live with the perplexity of why I have been so blessed while so many people, including some of my own friends have not been.

I pray that I may never take any of this for granted, as somehow being my right; that I will be able to enjoy and be grateful for the blessings I have received, while holding them lightly and in humility; and that perhaps in some small ways, I may be able to bless others too.

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O Radix: to become more rooted

Lois and I have been inspired and challenged today by Malcolm Guite’s sonnet, O Radix – based on one of the seven advent ‘O Antiphon’ prayers.

So much of our lives end up being un-rooted, superficial, flitting around in ever-increasing busyness. As we looked back on 2015 (a truly good year), we realised that we, too, have filled our moments up with things: trips away, activities here and there, clutter, doing rather than being.  As Guite puts it,

“We surf the surface of a wide-screen world

and find no virtue in the virtual.”

 

 

So as we look ahead to the year to come, with all its promise, we are wondering how we can make it more rooted. Here are some of our thoughts – how much we will achieve this remains to be seen:

  • By strengthening and valuing our family roots – spending time with parents, children, grandchildren;
  • By being more present to the present – being more engaged in what we are doing, saying no a bit more, not spreading ourselves too thinly;
  • By putting down our roots where we are – here in Coventry, trying to do more locally, cutting down on time away;
  • By caring more for our local community and environment – trying to build a bit more simplicity into our lives, respect for others and for our world.

 

 

O Radix – Malcolm Guite

All of us sprung from one deep-hidden seed,

Rose from a root invisible to all.

We knew the virtues once of every weed,

But, severed from the roots of ritual,

We surf the surface of a wide-screen world

And find no virtue in the virtual.

We shrivel on the edges of a wood

Whose heart we once inhabited in love,

Now we have need of you, forgotten Root

The stock and stem of every living thing

Whom once we worshiped in the sacred grove,

For now is winter, now is withering

Unless we let you root us deep within,

Under the ground of being, graft us in.

 

In the footsteps of a carpenter

We Hikinghave just returned from a weekend celebrating my father’s 80th birthday.  A truly wonderful occasion for an amazing man.  Those 80 years have taken him from the rural idyll of a childhood in Sussex, to 18 exciting years in Hong Kong, urban ministry in Gravesend, and the stillness of the Acorn Healing Trust in Hampshire before further spells in Hong Kong and eventual retirement in the equally idyllic Buckinghamshire countryside.

Continue reading “In the footsteps of a carpenter”