In the early hours of this morning my father, Stephen Sidebotham, died in his sleep, after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. The past few years have been upsetting, as we have slowly watched him lose his memory, his deep, engaging personality and his joy in life. Dad found the past few months of Covid restrictions confusing and upsetting, and it was particularly hard over the past three weeks as he was in hospital and we were not allowed to be with him.
We are grateful, though, that on Thursday, he was moved to a local nursing home and we were able to sit with him through yesterday and into the night. Before leaving him last night, I read the day’s compline, with Psalm 139 – one of his favourite Psalms, and listened to Rutter’s The Lord bless you and keep you.
Although these last weeks, months and years have been incredibly difficult, I am so grateful for all that my father was – to me, to my Mum and my sisters and the rest of our family, and to so many people both in Hong Kong and here in England. I remember, with love, the wonderful conversations I had with my Dad over the years – for his encouragement, wisdom and deep love, for the clarity and deep humility with which he helped me explore my own faith and life journey; the joy and inspiration I felt as a young lad as we, together, worked in his carpentry workshop, building items of furniture, a trainset, a canoe and sailing boat, and all sorts of items for the house and garden; the family games and outings; the pride (and awe) I felt as a youngster seeing my Dad, in long, flowing robes, leading services, preaching and teaching at Christ Church and St John’s Cathedral in Hong Kong; and his absolute devotion to and dependence on my Mum – ‘she who must be obeyed!’ I remember him speaking with such gentleness, grief and love at Mei Ling’s and Helen’s funerals, and the pride and joy that just overflowed whenever he saw or spoke of any of his grandchildren.
We will miss him, as will so many people whose lives he has touched – sometimes in ways he didn’t even know. And we will always remember him with gratitude, joy and love.
Now, Lord, you let your servant go in peace.
（http://echo.hkskh.org/news_article_details.aspx?lang=1&nid=15334）
Former Dean of St John’s Cathedral, the Revd Canon Stephen Sidebotham passed away peacefully on 9 July (GMT). The Most Revd Andrew Chan, Archbishop and Primate of Hong Kong Sheng Kung Hui, expressed his condolences and said that he has lost a close friend and mentor.
Canon Sidebotham was born on 31 May 1935 and was ordained to the order of the deaconate in 1960 and then to priesthood in 1961. He came to Hong Kong in 1964 and started serving at St John’s Cathedral. In 1970 he became the vicar of Christ Church. On 3 June 1976, he was appointed as Dean of St John’s Cathedral, a post he assumed on 31 October, succeeding the Revd Rex Howe. Bishop Gilbert Baker appointed him as Archdeacon in October 1977 and on 6 August 1982, the Most Revd Dr Peter Kwong, then Bishop of the Diocese of Hong Kong and Macau, appointed him as Canon of St John’s Cathedral. In September 1982, Canon Sidebotham returned to Britain.
Canon Sidebotham replaced the Very Revd Christopher Phillips and became Dean of St John’s Cathedral again in 2003. He retired from this post in 2005.
Archbishop Chan praised Canon Sidebotham for dedicating his life to Christ and for serving the Church. He made immense contribution to Hong Kong Sheng Kung Hui. Aside from being a parish priest and the Dean of St John’s Cathedral, he had also taken part in the work of the Welfare Council, taught in Ming Hua Theological College and many priests in Hong Kong Sheng Kung had studied with him.
Archbishop Chan said that when he was sub-dean of St John’s, Canon Sidebotham was his mentor. He described Canon Sidebotham as a person who was sensitive to human nature, which allows him to remain steadfast in spiritual truth but maintained an understanding attitude towards others. Canon Sidebotham was very willing to share his pastoral caring experiences but was a good listener at the same time; he prioritized the welfare of the society but was indifferent about his personal losses Archbishop Chan said.
Archbishop Chan expressed his condolences and feelings of loss at Canon Sidebotham’s passing away, and described that he has lost a close friend and a mentor. Yet at the same time, Archbishop Chan also thanked the Lord for Canon Sidebotham’s life. He appealed to the Anglicans in Hong Kong to remember Canon Sidebotham in their prayers and pray that God would comfort the family of the deceased and give them hope.
St John’s Cathedral is planning to hold a memorial service for Canon Sidebotham for all Anglicans in Hong Kong to remember Canon Sidebotham together. Details will be available at a later date.
Ah Peter I feel your pain having also just lost my Dad after a long illness where his mental agility and character were taken from him. It’s a blessed release which we would wish for them but the feeling of loss is great. Covid restrictions have made it difficult on the emotions by not allowing us to be with our loved ones when they most needed us – I am sorry you have experienced that.
Your Dad once gave me a piece of advice that I have never forgotten and in fact I have passed it on to others. We were at a church weekend and your Dad could see that I was at my wits end struggling with a wilful teenage daughter – he called me over and told me that no matter how difficult it got I must always leave the door open. This turned out to be the most amazing advice which i always kept and now, years later, I have an incredible relationship with my daughter – so grateful to your amazing Dad!
Thinking of you all as you prepare and grieve. Lots of love. Di Self (Bristol)
Peter sad for you and your family for the loss of your Dad….the end of a long journey of saying goodbye it seems. Your tribute to your Dad is moving and shows, though I have never met him, that he lives on in some ways in you. May you continue to treasure and build on his heritage, & rest in the knowledge that he is now at rest with his Lord.
My Mum is 97 tomorrow & the goodbye journey is long underway. Thanks for your example. May Jesus’ peace be yours.
Kathy CL xxx
Sorry Peter – please our heart felt condolences ! Please focus on happy memories and take care !
Oh Peter … I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s bittersweet isn’t it ? Death following a long illness . I can remember felling almost a sense of release when my mom finally passed. It was an honor to be with her in those last weeks. Her pain was terrible , morphine only did so much. I can remember bartering with Jesus to just take her home …
I felt at peace when she died knowing she was In The Arms of the Lord and without pain ~