Learning to live in the unforced rhythms of grace
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Alone among the shapes I meet,
you rest, content and incomplete;
no rounded symmetry I see,
nor perfect immortality.
Your half-formed body, foetal soul
seems broken, wounded, far from whole.
Your pair of angles doesn’t quite
square the circle, set things right.
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Yet, should I look beyond such flaws,
open up my blinkered doors,
perhaps I’d see through different eyes:
your gentle promise, silver-bright
shining half-moon in the night.
Growing up to be a child is all about Jesus’ challenge to become like children. This challenge was linked to a purpose: to enter and live in God’s kingdom here and now.
While I believe we can be part of God’s kingdom right now, it is also clear to me that this kingdom of heaven has not yet been fully established. We are living in an in-between time, in which we may see aspects of God’s kingdom but we certainly don’t see it in all its fullness. Children continue to get abused; people continue to use violence to promote their causes; the rich get richer at the expense of those who are poor, vulnerable, and exploited; people continue to get sick, suffer, and die; and our world remains troubled and damaged.
Becoming a child is a gift from God; it stems from God’s grace. The challenge for us is not to strive to obey all the rules, practice all the right disciplines, and so somehow convince God that we are really like children. Rather it is to respond to God’s invitation and accept God’s grace. In particular, it is to recognise that God loves us unconditionally, just as a father loves his child, and even more so.
Growing up to be a child, p149-150
In this contemplative companion I use four ‘disciplines’ of cleansing, feeding, resting, and dressing to encourage building a regular rhythm of life into our spirituality.
Click here to go to the contemplative companion to Chapter 11 of Growing up to be a child.
The common interpretation of the word ‘inheritance’ is ‘what you get from your parents when they die’. In reality, though, an inheritance is far more than the material possessions left to you by your parents. What a child inherits from her parents is richer, deeper, and more profound than a sum of money. Who you are and what you become is a product of your inheritance: both the genes that are passed on to you, setting your potential, and the environment that you grow up in – your parents’ attitudes and behaviour, your wider family, and your influences outside the family – all combine to mould you into what you finally become.
No matter how hard we may try not to, as parents we inevitably pass on some of our values to our children. If what we value is riches, a comfortable life with all we could need or wish for, that is what our children will inherit – along with the binding greed, the fear of loss, and the indifference to the needs of others that such idolatry brings with it. If what we value is achievement, status, and power, that is what our children will inherit – along with the low self-esteem, the constant striving to be good enough, the bullying, and the exploitation that come with that idolatry. If what we seek is pleasure and indulgence, an easy life, fun and action, and a wide circle of friends, we will pass that on to our children – along with the emptiness that so often sneaks in with this idolatry, the fear of pain, and the loneliness of absent love.
Growing up to be a child, chapter 10
In this latest contemplative guide to Growing up to be a Child, we reflect on what we have inherited from our parents, both good and bad, and what we in turn may be passing on to our children…
Click here to go to the latest contemplative guide to Chapter 10 of Growing up to be a Child.
Children love to play. That is perhaps one of the most striking aspects of childhood. Interestingly, their play largely seems to revolve around a combination of creativity, exploration, and relationship. If you give a child a box of bricks or a crayon, she will create something with them. If you leave a group of children in a garden, it probably won’t be long before they start playing hide-and-seek. And if you watch children singing nursery rhymes, you will see beautiful examples of relationship – even in the very simple act of joining hands in a circle, dancing round and round, and all falling down.
In this contemplative guide we explore what it means to be made in the image of God… through play
Click here to go to the contemplative companion to chapter 9
In chapter eight of Growing up to be a child, I explore this deepest aspect of our humanity as a growing awareness of ourselves, of other people, of the world we live in, and of God. In each of these areas, I suggest that the call to ‘become like a little child’ is a call to a redeemed awareness:
In the contemplative companion, we use music and scripture to help still ourselves and encounter the beauty and mystery of our Creator.
Click here to go to the contemplative companion to chapter 8.
Chapter seven of Growing up to be a child explores a child’s social development, how she learns to relate to other people, and in particular, the importance of attachment relationships:
In essence, attachment refers to a close emotional proximity between one person and another. We see this most clearly between a baby and her mother. The attachment bond provides security for the baby, along with emotional closeness that works both ways. Interestingly, attachment only really becomes significant in the context of separation. Indeed, the very purpose of attachment is to provide a secure base from which the developing child can explore the world; its ultimate goal is to enable independence. This is really quite important.
Continue reading “Attachment: a contemplative companion to chapter 7 of Growing up to be a child”
I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining;
I believe in love, even when I feel it not;
I believe in God, even when he is silent
Take time, in stillness and silence to contemplate the mystery of a God of presence, light and love who so often seems distant, cold and silent.
Click here to go to the contemplative companion to Chapter 6 of Growing up to be a child
