How not to be a (step) Grandfather

7pm and Lois, James and Julie has gone off to Stratford to see Paapa Essiedu as Hamlet, leaving me alone in the house with four little grandchildren to look after, blithely thinking that would be a doddle for an experienced paediatrician like myself.

As I took the pants that Phoebe had just wet out to the laundry, and sent her up to get a clean pair, Maya came wandering down the garden telling me that Toby had got his head caught in the hammock. True enough, he had managed to poke his head through a hole in the aging hammock at the end of the garden, and was quietly turning blue.

Toby rescued and the hammock consigned to the dustbin, I started to tidy up the chaos in the kitchen, leaving the girls to play quietly outside on the trampoline – only to be interrupted by two cheerful Pentecostals, wanting to know if I’d been saved, and to invite me to a Salvation Mission at Nexus college down the road. I politely thanked them for their concern and assured them that I didn’t need saving (except perhaps from four demanding grandchildren!)

Phoebe appeared with her second pair of wet pants, then joined the other two on the trampoline, and I got on with tidying the kitchen.

My tasks complete, I went out to tell Phoebe that it was time for her to go to bed, only to be greeted by Talia telling me that Phoebe had now done a wee and a poo in her pants. Still, she seemed content enough to go up to the bathroom, clean herself down with a flannel and get herself off to bed with a fourth clean pair of pants.

I thought I would do the decent grandfatherly thing and read Maya and Talia a bedtime story. With fond reminiscing about Christopher Robin, or Swallows and Amazons, I was horrified to find myself confronted with one of the Secret Kingdom series:

As the three girls spun closer and closer to the ground, Summer caught her breath. The land of the Secret Kingdom was normally so beautiful, with lush meadows, tall mountains, sandy beaches and glittering seas, but now it all looked dark and desolate. Instead of the wonderful creatures who lived there, all they could see were big, ugly trolls marching across the land with heavy clubs swinging in their hands…

As I read through first one chapter then another, I found my eyelids drooping, my mind wandering and my words getting more and more muddled.

The girls looked across the lake, and there they saw the ugly Queen May-lice being carried on a chair by two ugly trolls. They looked horrible. Their bodies were big and lumpy and their arms hung down so their knuckles nearly rested on the floor. Their names were Boris and Nigel and their heads were huge, with bristly, green hair…

Finally, honour served, without too much adulteration of the scintillating story, I packed the remaining two girls off to bed, poured myself a glass of wine, and settled down to write a blog…

May 25, 2016

Child Sexual Exploitation: marginalised perspectives and temporal shifts

‘They can show some love or caring, instead of this “we’re moving you there”. They need to stop moving people around like bags of rubbish nobody wants’

Christina, 21

That quote was taken from research with young women who had been in Local Authority care that is featured in the latest virtual issue of Child Abuse Review. The researchers from London Metropolitan University drew their findings from life story interviews with 14 young women, and point out the cultures and systems that made them vulnerable to sexual exploitation.

Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE) is not a new phenomenon, but we are, perhaps, just starting to get to grips with the extent of the problem and what we can do about it.

Our guest editors, Caroline Bradbury-Jones and Jenny Pearce, have drawn together 9 papers on CSE published in Child Abuse Review over the past 25 years. They point out some of the achievements that have been made in both policy and practice to better understand the nature of the abuse and protect children from it. However, as they point out, there is still a lot to be done to raise awareness with families and communities about the nature of CSE, to train staff in identifying indicators of CSE, to improve information sharing between professionals working in different disciplines, and to work for more child-centred practices and coordinated interventions between statutory and voluntary service interventions.

All the papers in this virtual issue are freely available online for a limited period along with Caroline and Jenny’s helpful editorial. Do take a look.

‘In all, the articles in this virtual issue show us how far research, policy and practice has moved in advancing the protection of children from CSE over the last few decades. They also remind us that research can, and does, helpfully inform policy and practice but that recommendations from the work and dissemination of findings is important to effect change. The articles also bear ongoing resonance with current issues, many of which need further development of the evidence base and improvements in policy and practice. We look forward to such future activities to further protect children from CSE in the future.’

Contents of the Virtual Issue on Child Sexual Exploitation

Bradbury-Jones C., Pearce J. 2016. Child Sexual Exploitation: marginalised perspectives and temporal shifts

Ireland K. 1993. Sexual exploitation of children and international travel and tourism. Child Abuse Review 2(4): 263-270.

Lillywhite R, Skidmore P. 2006. Boys are not sexually exploited? A challenge to practitioners. Child Abuse Review 15(5): 351-361.

Ward J, Patel N. 2006. Broadening the discussion on ‘sexual exploitation’: ethnicity, sexual exploitation and young people. Child Abuse Review 15(5): 341-350.

Scott S, Harper Z. 2006. Meeting the needs of sexually exploited young people: the challenge of conducting policy-relevant research. Child Abuse Review 15(5): 313-325.

Coy M. 2009. ‘Moved around like bags of rubbish nobody wants’: how multiple placement moves can make young women vulnerable to sexual exploitation. Child Abuse Review 18(4): 254-266.

Melrose M. 2013. Twenty-First Century Party People: Young People and Sexual Exploitation in the New Millennium. Child Abuse Review 22(3): 155-168.

Dodsworth J. 2014. Sexual Exploitation, Selling and Swapping Sex: Victimhood and Agency. Child Abuse Review 23(3): 185-199.

Brayley H, Cockbain E. 2014. British Children Can Be Trafficked Too: Towards an Inclusive Definition of Internal Child Sex Trafficking. Child Abuse Review 23(3): 171-184.

Ahern E, Sadler LH, Lamb MEL, Gariglietti G. 2016. Wellbeing of Professionals Working with Victims of Child Sexual Exploitation. Child Abuse Review.

April 16, 2016

Banksy on the Mount III: The Lord’s Prayer

Now when he saw the crowds,

he went into the urban jungle

and began to paint…

When you pray, go into your own room, shut the door,

and pray to your father who is there in secret.

And when you fast,

do not look sombre as the hypocrites do,

for they disfigure their faces

to show everyone they are fasting.

This then is how you should pray:

Our father in heaven

Hallowed be your name

Your kingdom come

Your will be done on earth as in heaven

Give us today our daily bread

Forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil.

April 9, 2016

Banksy on the mount II: Being salt and light

Now when he saw the crowds,

he went into the urban jungle

and began to paint…

You are the salt of the earth.

But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?

You are the light of the world…

in the same way, let your light shine before others,

that they may see your good deeds

and glorify your Father in heaven.

I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

You have heard that it was said,

“Do not murder”…

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother

will be subject to judgment.

You have heard that it was said,

“You shall not commit adultery.”

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully

has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Again you have heard that it was said to the people long ago,

“Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the oaths you have made.”

But I tell you,

do not swear an oath at all:

either by heaven, for it is God’s throne;

or by the earth…

All you need to say is simply “Yes,” or “No”

You heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.”

But I say to you:

don’t use violence to resist evil.

Instead, when someone hits you on the right cheek,

turn the other one towards him.

You heard it said, “Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.”

But I tell you: love your enemies!

Pray for people who persecute you!

More reflections from Banksy on the Mount

February 14, 2016February 14, 2016

In the footsteps of Finn MacCool

It is February the 14^th and I have fallen in love – with the Antrim Coast.

With its wild Gaelic beauty, its depths of a history in which men and women pitted themselves against the forces of nature to eke a living out of the cliffs and sea, and its thin places where ancient Celts, with heightened intuition, sensed a deeper presence of the divine – this is a land where time and eternity dwell.

It being a fine, sunny day, we decided to take the long way round to the Giant’s Causeway, following the advice of my good friend, Colin.

Starting out at Dunseverick Castle, thermal-layered against the winter wind, we set off to walk the five miles that would bring us to this incredible site. The last vestiges of the gatehouse are all that remain of this once-proud castle, a salutary reminder of greater, harsher days.

The coastal path stretched out before us, climbing gently to each new headland, so to open up ever new vistas of towering cliffs, secluded bays and gambolling rocks. The occasional seagull gliding carefree, uplifted on the rising breeze.

The earth was soft and firm under our feet, the springy turf belying the steadfast basalt beneath. Above us the sun’s fire gently warmed us, taking the chill out of the otherwise biting wind which urged us ever Westward to our goal. Far below, the treacherous rocks tumbled out to sea, the crashing waves which once – and not so long ago – had furiously raged, now seemed almost tender in their bathing. These four elements which can so cruelly challenge humankind, today seemed set to bless us, holding us in the palm of God’s hand.

And we were blessed.

May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Across the Eastern reaches of the Atlantic, the cliffs and mountains of Islay and the Western Isles created for us a stunning panorama, basking in sunlight under clear blue skies. And all this beauty, just for us. We met just one solitary walker, striding bravely into the wind, and otherwise the route was ours, to share with heavy-wooled sheep who balanced precariously on cliff-edge paths. In one isolated bay a carefully restored bothy spoke of a time when men, too, were perhaps as hardy, braving all weathers to fetch their catches of salmon.

And so we came at last to our final descent, 162 steps down to Fionn mac Cumhail’s bay. To join our fellow human beings and wonder at this marvel, pieced together some 50 million years ago.

Just a handful had climbed those steps, or ventured part-way along our path. This place held mystery and beauty of its own, and on this day, St Valentine’s call held love-struck couples in timeless portraits on these geological pillars, while children climbed and jumped and laughed.

And we –

we took the road less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.

February 3, 2016February 3, 2016

Scars across humanity

This being the inaugural sexual abuse and sexual violence awareness week (#itsnotok), it seems pertinent that I should have just received my copy of Elaine Storkey’s new book, Scars across humanity: understanding and overcoming violence against women.

What a powerful, accessible, and challenging book.

Elaine Storkey, a feminist sociologist and theologian, has painstakingly explored the issues of violence against women across the globe, starting from the premise that violence against women is never acceptable.

“There is one universal truth, applicable to all countries, cultures and communities: violence against women is never acceptable, never excusable, never tolerable.”

– United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

Elaine has somehow managed to combine the dispassionate objectivity of academic rigour with a very human compassion for those countless women who have suffered as victims and survivors of violence. Drawing on her encounters with women across the world in her role as President of the International Aid Agency, Tearfund, Elaine has carefully compiled both data and human stories from as far afield as the United Kingdom and Ecuador, the United States and Afghanistan, to provide a comprehensive overview of the nature and impact of violence.

But Elaine does more than simply record facts and stories on issues as diverse as rape, trafficking, selective abortion and female genital mutilation. Through the pages of the book, she offers a unique critique of both sociological and religious understanding of women and their place in society, and our cultures that permit such violence to occur.

“Rape travels alongside trafficking and prostitution as the exercise of power over vulnerability. And that power is often layered and multi-faceted, pitting the economic, political or social status of the perpetrator against the insignificance of the victim. When the unbalance is made even more uneven by the lack of safeguarding measures, or indifference from authorities, trying to bring redress can simply feel like a task too overwhelming, and impossible to achieve.”

– Elaine Storkey

The book makes for harrowing reading. But it is a book that is also full of hope, presenting a vision of a future in which violence against women is no longer accepted, stories of change and progress, and holding out the possibility of healing and restoration for those affected by such scars across humanity.

“And I have seen the ugly face of hatred

As it ripped my flesh and seared my soul

Mocking my refusal with malicious, brutal force.

But I am learning to erase that gaze

And seek instead the gentle face of love

Which stoops to soothe my fear with tender touch

And travels patiently in step with me

On the long journey towards peace.”

– Survivors’ workshop

January 27, 2016

To a semi-circle 2: seeking joy

I greet you once again – transected;

put asunder, rent in twain.

This sudden loss – so unexpected;

fullness fractured, comfort slain.

Those shadowed hours creep, oh so slowly.

Earth’s deep pain: a silent roar.

We see in part that thing, most holy

promise of a brighter shore.

Tears of grief rain down, unbaden

the sun, concealed, completes her arc.

The dove returns once more, unladen,

weary of the lingering dark.

Till from aloft the lookout shouts, “Ahoy!”

The half-bow that we see against the rain

is but a herald of a world made whole again.

Helen making rainbows in the waterfall at Tanay, Manila, January 2012

January 23, 2016January 23, 2016

The anarchism of the Gospel

The BBC's adaptation of Tolstoy's War and Peace — BBC’s adaptation of Tolstoy’s War and Peace

Giles Fraser’s latest Guardian column on War and Peace is one of his finest yet.

It is a while since I read Tolstoy’s great epic, and I found myself uninspired by the first episode of the BBC’s adaptation of it, but I remember at the time thinking that there was great truth and wisdom in its pages. Giles Fraser captures this magnificently, pointing out how Tolstoy’s practical, non-violent theology was a threat to both the church and the state.

“War and Peace is an extended argument for that most foolish of moral wisdom: pacifism”

With some of my recent blogs and Facebook posts, trying to explore issues of social justice, non-violence and radical hospitality, and through friends around the world who are standing up for similar principles, I have become acutely aware that such a path is often seen as both foolish and threatening.

“Tolstoy reminds us that to be a Christian is to be a fool and a social outcast, that anyone who wishes to follow Christ has to be prepared to die as an enemy of the state, nailed to the cross. It’s a little bit more than a few verses of Shine, Jesus, Shine on a Sunday morning.”

I would really encourage you all to read Giles Fraser’s piece:

Tolstoy’s Christian anarchism was a war on both church and state