It is good to be back in Asia – after several years now.
Sitting on the balcony of our hotel, looking out on the buildings and streets of Vientiane. The coconut palms and frangipani trees, sparrows and mynahs, terracotta rooves and radio masts, the bustling traffic on the streets and a rather languid gardener in the grounds of the cultural centre opposite, with its grand gold, green and red facades.
It is nearly 30 years since I first came to Cambodia – full of dreams and expectations, perhaps with a sense of confidence and certainty, of commission and idealism. A lot has changed since then.
I have changed.
Perhaps with less certainty, more doubts. A gentler view of the world and my place in it. And with a greater sense of gratitude – and of lament.
God of Yesterday,
We knew you then:
Your promises; your words;
your walking among us.
But yesterday is gone.
And so, today, we are in need of change.
Change
and change us.
Help us see life now
not through yesterday’s stories
but through today’s.
Padraig O’Tuama, Daily Prayer with the Corymeela Community
In light of the recent allegations by Frances Haugen around the working practices of Facebook, and the ways in which they are putting profits ahead of the welfare and safety of their users, we have decided to stop using Facebook for the time being. We are particularly concerned by the allegations that the algorithms used by Facebook are contributing to harm to the health and wellbeing of teenage girls, and that the company is aware of the harm being caused but has not taken action to change their algorithms.
We will keep this under review and once we are satisfied that Facebook are genuinely taking steps to minimise the harm done through their social media, we may start using it again.
In the early hours of this morning my father, Stephen Sidebotham, died in his sleep, after a long struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. The past few years have been upsetting, as we have slowly watched him lose his memory, his deep, engaging personality and his joy in life. Dad found the past few months of Covid restrictions confusing and upsetting, and it was particularly hard over the past three weeks as he was in hospital and we were not allowed to be with him.
We are grateful, though, that on Thursday, he was moved to a local nursing home and we were able to sit with him through yesterday and into the night. Before leaving him last night, I read the day’s compline, with Psalm 139 – one of his favourite Psalms, and listened to Rutter’s The Lord bless you and keep you.
Although these last weeks, months and years have been incredibly difficult, I am so grateful for all that my father was – to me, to my Mum and my sisters and the rest of our family, and to so many people both in Hong Kong and here in England. I remember, with love, the wonderful conversations I had with my Dad over the years – for his encouragement, wisdom and deep love, for the clarity and deep humility with which he helped me explore my own faith and life journey; the joy and inspiration I felt as a young lad as we, together, worked in his carpentry workshop, building items of furniture, a trainset, a canoe and sailing boat, and all sorts of items for the house and garden; the family games and outings; the pride (and awe) I felt as a youngster seeing my Dad, in long, flowing robes, leading services, preaching and teaching at Christ Church and St John’s Cathedral in Hong Kong; and his absolute devotion to and dependence on my Mum – ‘she who must be obeyed!’ I remember him speaking with such gentleness, grief and love at Mei Ling’s and Helen’s funerals, and the pride and joy that just overflowed whenever he saw or spoke of any of his grandchildren.
We will miss him, as will so many people whose lives he has touched – sometimes in ways he didn’t even know. And we will always remember him with gratitude, joy and love.
My faith does not provide answers to all the questions, or a complete and rational explanation for life, the universe, and everything. Nor does it guarantee a perfect, unambiguous and carefree way of living.
But it does give expression to the wonder and gratitude I so often feel, and to the questions, the grief, the anger and the longings of my heart. And it gives me hope, a sense of purpose, and a framework for living.
So, in spite of – or perhaps because of – all my doubts and uncertainties, my scepticism and frustration, I keep walking this road with both tears and a twinkle in my eye.
Equally disappointing and frustrating Conservative results.
But…
A really encouraging and inspiring result from the Greens.
So far, with over 90% of the results in, the Green Party have 121 new councillors bringing the total to over 400 Green councillors in at least 139 councils across England and Wales, 8 seats in the Scottish parliament and stunning results across the country when you look at the share of the vote – Greens often coming in second or third place even when they didn’t win a seat. In the West Midlands, the Green Party mayoral candidate was in third place with 5.8% of the vote on the first round.
So there are people in our country who are standing up for and voting for ialues that matter: care for our environment and planet; tackling inequity, prejudice and injustice; care for the vulnerable…
I was deeply concerned recently to read the Government’s Integrated Review of Security, Defence, Development and Foreign Policy. While there are many positives in terms of a stated commitment to upholding human rights, conflict resolution, poverty reduction and care for the environment, these commitments become empty rhetoric when held up against the stark reality of the government investing further in weapons of mass destruction while at the same time cutting back on its foreign aid spending.
The decision to raise the cap on the stockpile of nuclear warheads to 260 reverses all the progress that has been made over the past decades. This is in direct contravention of the UK’s commitments under the Non-Proliferation Treaty and ignores the more recent UN Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. Increasing the UK’s stockpile of nuclear weapons will do nothing to protect our citizens; it will make the world a more dangerous place for all; and it is an enormous and unaffordable waste of tax-payers’ money.
It is particularly galling that the government should make such a commitment while simultaneously cutting the aid budget and offering to return to its commitment to spend 0.7 per cent of gross national income on development ‘when the fiscal situation allows’.
How is it possible that the fiscal situation can allow for the investment of a £24bn increase in military spending over the next four years, and yet cut the foreign aid budget from £15bn to £10bn over the next two years?
The sixth of February is Waitangi day – a national holiday and a celebration of the Treaty of Waitangi (Te Tiriti o Waitangi), the founding document of Aotearoa New Zealand. This year, we had the privilege of attending a dawn service at the Treaty Grounds in Waitangi – as the sky slowly brightened and the sun rose over the Bay of Islands. We joined others in reflecting on the country’s history and its ongoing journey to truly embrace the unity, justice and hope enshrined in the treaty.
After the service, we (along with a few thousand others) were treated to a wonderful outdoor breakfast of bacon, sausage, eggs and hash browns graciously served by Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and several of her fellow Ministers.
It was a wonderful, simple and genuine gesture that, for me, somehow embraced the spirit of that treaty, and the character and integrity of this national leader. There was something very human and natural about her smile as she dished out dollops of scrambled eggs that seemed totally in keeping with the genuine commitment we’d heard in her voice earlier in the week as she spoke at a Powhiri (traditional Maori welcome ceremony) on the same spot.
Seeing and hearing Jacinda in person has confirmed to me that she is a true leader: someone who is prepared to listen; who readily acknowledges that she hasn’t got everything right, but is determined to do her best; who sincerely wants to be held to account by those who have been marginalised or discriminated against.
Today, I have been reflecting on the Beatitudes – the qualities of character espoused by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. One translation of the Aramaic word, ‘blessed’ used by Jesus is ‘ripe’:
Ripe are those who find their home in the Spirit;
they shall be attuned to the inner reign of God.
Ripe are those who mourn for people who are suffering;
they shall be united inside by love.
Ripe are the gentle;
they shall be open to receive strength from the earth.
Ripe are those who hunger and thirst for justice;
they shall be encircled by the birth of a new society.
Ripe are the compassionate;
upon them shall be compassion.
Ripe are those who are consistent in heart;
they shall contemplate God.
Ripe are those who plant peace in each season;
they shall be named the children of God.
Ripe are those who are persecuted for the sake of justice;
This concept captures something of maturity, fullness, wholeness and goodness, a sense of having reached a stage of the fullness of the person I am meant to be. And above, all of nourishment – those who are ‘blessed’, ‘ripe’ bring nourishment and goodness to others. The qualities of the Beatitudes: meekness, poverty of spirit, gentleness, grieving, are not what we typically expect of our politicians. But when we do see them, they are truly nourishing.
[1] This version of the Beatitudes is taken from a translation from the Aramaic text of the New Testament by Dr Patricia Fresen. A fuller exposition of this can be found at https://bridgetmarys.blogspot.com/2017/02/the-beatitudes-as-translated-from.html
As we leave 2020 behind and enter the new year, I am very aware of the grief, loss, loneliness and struggle this past year has brought to so many people. Like all of us, I hope that 2021 will be better. I look forward in hope to a curtailing of this pandemic and the effective roll-out of the vaccines; I long for more consistent and compassionate political leadership, and for meaningful in-roads to tackling our global issues of prejudice, social inequalities, abuse and violence, climate change and the exploitation of our environment.
I recognise, though, that I cannot change any of this myself and that the only thing (person) I can change is me.
