Spring comes to Breathing Space

After what seems like a long drawn-out winter, the sun has finally appeared in all its glory, warming the earth, and lifting our spirits.

In our breathing space garden, life is, quite literally, bursting forth: the daffodils and tulips are competing to see who can provide the most vibrant display; buds are opening up on all the fruit trees; the blackbirds, robin, wren and tits are frantically flittering back and forth, gathering up twigs, leaves and moss for their nests; the goldfish are gambolling in the pond, and even Sir Isaac – our resident newt – is enjoying basking with his family in the afternoon sun.

What a privilege it is to be here, to be able to appreciate all this beauty and life, and to be able to share it with others: individuals and small groups taking advantage of this little breathing space in the midst of our so often frantic, complex lives and work.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11: 28-30 (The Message)

April 12, 2018April 12, 2018

That’s how the light gets in

And so the 10^th BASPCAN child protection congress is over. The banners have come down, the delegates have gone their various ways, and the PowerPoint slides deleted from the desktops.

It has been an incredible four days: a time of inspiration and challenge, of hard grind and relaxed friendship, of shared laughter and shared tears.

I have been inspired by meaningful research, emerging ideas, and examples of innovative practice. I have had some of my own perspectives challenged. I have been encouraged equally by young and enthusiastic researchers, and by committed practitioners who have walked many years. I have been overwhelmed by the generosity, commitment and hard work of all those who have contributed to the congress, and the feedback and encouragement of so many participants. And I have been amazed at the vigour and resilience of children, young people and adults – survivors in the fullest sense of the word.

For me, though, the essence of this congress was captured in the fragile, vulnerable daffodils that decorated our plenary lecture hall. In spite of all our efforts, they kept flopping over and looking muddled. And yet, they continued to bloom, bringing their bright colour and life into that hall.

Perhaps we are all a bit like that – fragile, vulnerable children; wounded, hurting survivors; struggling practitioners and academics – dependent on each other for encouragement and support; and yet, in spite of all our limitations, bringing hope and life. And united in our longing for a world in which no child ever has to experience the terror and pain of abuse or neglect, and where each of us is valued as a unique, wonderful and beloved person.

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There’s a crack, a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in

– Leonard Cohen

April 3, 2018

The Rhesus Monkey Speaks of Love

With less than a week to go to the BASPCAN 2018 Congress, Clare Shaw, Congress Poet in Residence looks to a Rhesus monkey for insights into stress, serotonin and early attachment, the last of her monthly poems which you can read here

The Rhesus Monkey Speaks of Love

“A specific polymorphism in the serotonin transporter gene is associated with deficits in early neurobehavioral functioning and serotonin metabolism, extreme aggression, and excessive alcohol consumption among monkeys who experienced insecure early attachment relationships, but not in monkeys who developed secure attachment relationships with their mothers during infancy” (Suomi, 2003).

Let me tell you this:

I have unexpectedly sophisticated skills

at maths.

These have helped me incalculably

to resist attack.

I am determined never to die.

Social in nature

I have lived among people

and was always afraid.

This way I survived.

At home in the water

I can fly.

There was one star in the sky

and I loved it

though it often went out,

Oh, I am a great success.

I would not abandon my daughter

or eat her

and who hasn’t slapped or bitten or kicked

when driven to it

by fear or threat?

Who would not fight

for a mate, for a fuck, for fruit

or the light? For the child

on their back?

If this is not love,

then what is this weight?

And who would not sing it in flight?

March 17, 2018

The Impact of Neglect on the Developing Brain

Clare Shaw, Poet in Residence for the BASPCAN 10th International Child Protection Congress considers the impact of neglect on the developing brain.

With just 3 weeks to go, it’s not too late to register for the congress and what promises to be an exciting and stimulating programme combining cutting edge science, evidence-informed practice, and reflective creative space.

You can read all of Clare’s poems and find out more about the congress here.

The Impact of Neglect on the Developing Brain

Dreams:

you can’t find your mother.

A series of rooms

one after another

each smelling of urine

and dust.

And of course

there are ghosts –

you fear them like murder.

By night, there are spiders and mice.

Then sleep is a space

with no air.

It’s too hot.

All of your words have been sucked out.

The books on the shelves

are rotten. You read them.

You almost forgot that door

and the corridor leads to outside.

In the yard,

how small you are

in this rain

you will never own.

It’s all falling around your ears.

The rabbits are still in their hutches

and no-one has fed them

for years.

March 17, 2018

The Impact of Neglect on the Developing Brain

Clare Shaw, Poet in Residence for the BASPCAN 10th International Child Protection Congress considers the impact of neglect on the developing brain.

You can read all of Clare’s poems and find out more about the congress here.

The Impact of Neglect on the Developing Brain

Dreams:

you can’t find your mother.

A series of rooms

one after another

each smelling of urine

and dust.

And of course

there are ghosts –

you fear them like murder.

By night, there are spiders and mice.

Then sleep is a space

with no air.

It’s too hot.

All of your words have been sucked out.

The books on the shelves

are rotten. You read them.

You almost forgot that door

and the corridor leads to outside.

In the yard,

how small you are

in this rain

you will never own.

It’s all falling around your ears.

The rabbits are still in their hutches

and no-one has fed them

for years.

March 8, 2018

International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day is a great opportunity to celebrate so many amazing women who have made a difference to our world. And, for me, to remember with gratitude the many incredible women I have had the privilege to know.

It is also an opportunity to recognise the ongoing violence and abuse that affects so many women and girls across the world.

The statistics are horrific.

But even more salutary are the individual stories that lie behind those statistics – salutary not just because of the appalling circumstances so many women and girls have to live with, but also because of the amazing courage, resilience and hope that they embody.

Today also marks one month till our 2018 BASPCAN international child protection congress. And, as it approaches, I am looking forward to it more and more. And not least because of some of the incredible women whom we have lined up as speakers.

People like:

Elaine Storkey, former president of Tearfund, and long-standing campaigner for women’s rights, who has powerfully documented the reality of violence against women and girls in her book, Scars across Humanity

Clare Shaw, our poet in residence, whose poems reflect the depth of expertise held by someone who has walked with trauma

Siobhan Beckwith, whose talk, Hearts in the Goldfish Bowl, draws on her experience coming alongside mothers who have had to live apart from their children

Kish Bhatti-Sinclair, a reader in social policy and social work, who will be challenging us to rethink our own prejudices, discrimination and unconscious bias

Anne Fine, the celebrated author, whose novels capture, in a very human way, the reality of many children’s lives

There are so many more I could mention. And I’m really looking forward to meeting them and hearing what they have to say.

It is not too late to book, so do take a look at the programme on our congress website:

BASPCAN Congress 2018

March 4, 2018

Low Carbon and Loving It

For many years now I have struggled with the reality that, in spite of all my rhetoric of justice, compassion and humility, my affluent western lifestyle is inherently unjust, damaging and unsustainable. In the face of the inconvenient truths of climate change and global inequalities, the tiny steps we as a family have taken to live simply and sustainably appear miniscule.

So I have been both challenged and encouraged by Mark and Tom Delaney’s inspiring book, Low Carbon and Loving It. The Delaney’s are a remarkable family whose totally radical lifestyle has sat with me like an uncomfortable stone in my shoe: a stone that nevertheless challenges me to keep walking and try just a little bit harder. Mark and Cathy have spent most of the past two decades living in tiny one-roomed homes in Indian slums, bringing up their two boys, Tom and Oscar, in conditions which I know I could never cope with. In doing so, they have successfully managed to reduce their carbon production from the Australian average of 23 tonnes CO_2eq to much closer to the Indian average of 2.3 tonnes.

Mark and Tom’s book describes something of their journey in achieving this. They set out, in a very readable manner, the science of climate change and why we need to take is so seriously. And they provide lots of practical suggestions of how we, in the affluent west, can take steps to reduce our unsustainable carbon footprints and contribute to a more just and sustainable world.

Few, if any, would ever have the courage to follow in their footsteps (I know I couldn’t), but all of us can do something. And, as Mark and Tom point out, it is imperative that we do, if our children and grandchildren, and – more significantly – the billions of people across the world who have no choice in their lifestyles, are to have a future to look forward to.

As Lois and I have moved to Allesley and set up Breathing Space, Low Carbon and Loving It has inspired us to do bit more to make our home, our retreat centre, and our lifestyles just a little more sustainable. Our hope is that others, too, will come alongside us in doing so.

Low Carbon and Loving It is available in both paper and kindle editions on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Low-Carbon-Loving-Adventures-sustainable-Australia/dp/0648247708

February 17, 2018February 17, 2018

Safeguarding in, around and through sport

Throwing yourself headlong down a sheet of ice

Over the past few days I have enjoyed watching the winter Olympics in Pyeongchang. While I have no desire to throw myself headlong down a sheet of ice at speeds faster than I would drive, I am nevertheless amazed at the skill, courage and grace of these athletes. Seeing the way the athletes interact with each other, their coaches, families and supporters, and even some of the political developments going on in the background reminds me of the incredible potential of sport to bring out goodness, beauty, and all that is best in our humanity.

Sadly, though, sport also carries the potential for some of the worst in humanity. And Barry Bennell’s conviction last week on 43 charges of sex abuse against young people under his care as a football coach truly highlights that. As has been shown now in so many different areas, striving for excellence also brings vulnerability. And that vulnerability can be exploited.

I am pleased that FIFA and other bodies in sport are taking their safeguarding responsibilities seriously. They have a long way to go to ensure that children are safe in sport, and it won’t be an easy road. But it is a road that must be travelled.

Safeguarding in, around and through sport

Four years ago, at a summit in Johannesburg, Unicef launched its ‘International Safeguards for Children in Sport’. This ground-breaking initiative was based on research by Daniel Rhind and colleagues from Brunel University. I am really pleased that Daniel will be presenting at the BASPCAN 2018 child protection congress, exploring the development, implementation and evaluation of these international standards.

This presentation will consider safeguarding in, around and through sport. Safeguarding ‘in’ sport concerns the prevalence of the different forms of abuse along with the factors which may make children more vulnerable to abuse. Safeguarding ‘around’ sport will be discussed with reference to research on how mega sports events can impact children. Safeguarding ‘through’ sport concerns how participation can help to safeguard children beyond the context of sport.

To join the congress and hear Daniel’s talk, or to find out more about the other great presentations and opportunities to get involved, take a look at the congress website:

https://www.baspcan.org.uk/congress-2018/